Why Physical Intimacy Declines—And How to Reconnect

Physical intimacy isn’t the most important aspect of a relationship, but it’s certainly one of them. So, when it starts to decline, it can feel like you and your partner are on rocky ground—even if you’re not sure why.

There are plenty of reasons why physical intimacy declines, and not all of them are as obvious as others. You might think it’s just a normal part of life as the “spark” starts to weaken in your relationship, but it doesn’t have to be that way. It’s also important to get to the bottom of the decline to determine if there are underlying issues that need to be worked out.

Let’s take a closer look at why physical intimacy declines and what you can do to reconnect and reignite the spark in your relationship.

Stress and Life Pressures

There’s no denying that we live in a busy, stressful society. You might think things will slow down at different stages, but that doesn’t always happen. Between work schedules, parenting responsibilities, and even personal concerns like financial issues or maintaining social responsibilities, sometimes life simply gets in the way.

All of these responsibilities and stressors can reduce libido and contribute to anxiety. When you’re feeling overwhelmed, stressed, and anxious, you’re less likely to feel “in the mood.” When both partners are struggling with that kind of stress, it can cause their physical intimacy to decline quickly.

Mental and physical health issues can also contribute to this decline. Again, anxiety can impact libido, but it can also contribute to fatigue. So can other mental health issues like depression, or physical conditions like diabetes, heart disease, or chronic pain. These things might be considered "part of life." However, it's hard to know the true impact of health issues until you see firsthand how they can affect different areas of your life.

Relationship Issues

Unfortunately, relationship issues are at the heart of intimacy decline far too often. You might feel emotionally distant from your partner but aren’t sure why. It could be due to unresolved conflicts, communication issues, or even trust that could have been broken years ago and hasn’t been rebuilt within the relationship.

You might not think you’re dealing with communication issues, but they’re often more subtle than most people realize. Everything from difficulty discussing your needs, wants, and desires to keeping things surface level can make a difference. When you aren’t able to show vulnerability in your relationship and truly express yourself, it leads to a lack of emotional intimacy. That can quickly carry over into a decline in physical closeness.

Personal Issues

Maybe there’s nothing necessarily wrong with your relationship, but you’ve been struggling with certain things on your own. For example, it’s not uncommon for people with low self-esteem or body image issues to have a hard time with physical intimacy. You might worry about your partner judging you or somehow being turned off, even if you know that isn’t realistic.

What Can You Do?

If a lack of physical intimacy has become a problem in your relationship, working with a professional can make a difference.

Keep in mind that rebuilding intimacy takes time and effort from both partners. However, if you’re both committed to not only making your relationship work, but also increasing that intimacy, it starts with communication. If you know that you’ve struggled with communication issues, couples therapy can make a difference. You’ll dig deeper into potential roadblocks in your relationship while learning how to communicate clearly and effectively.

Things like self-care, prioritizing quality time together, and fostering emotional intimacy will also help. But you don’t have to dive in on your own. If you've struggled to prioritize those things up until now, learning how to fit them into your routine through counseling can give you new insight into your relationship. Contact me today for an initial consultation.